<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Turbulence by centreoftheselights</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24200029">Turbulence</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/centreoftheselights/pseuds/centreoftheselights'>centreoftheselights</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Learning to Fly [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adventurous Roman Sanders, Also some parallels to, Alternate Universe - Wings, Anxiety, Apologies, Arguments, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Developing Friendships, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends, Episode: EMBARRASSING PHASES: The Nightmare Instead of Christmas!, Friendly Bickering, Friendship, Gen, Identity Issues, Panic Attacks, Peer Pressure, Post-Episode: Accepting Anxiety, mindscape</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 06:40:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,316</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24200029</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/centreoftheselights/pseuds/centreoftheselights</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Roman and Virgil have an argument, and there's more to it than meets the eye.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>platonic Prinxiety</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Learning to Fly [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1736752</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>186</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Bad Things Happen Bingo, Centreoftheselights' Bad Things Happen Bingo 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Turbulence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>One of my <a href="https://potestessemagishomosexualitatis.tumblr.com/tagged/bad-things-happen-bingo">Bad Things Happen Bingo prompts</a>:</p><p>Reopening an old wound, how about reopening an old EMOTIONAL wound? At one point during an argument Roman calls Virgil "Anxiety" and Virgil freaks out thinking Roman and the others are going to reject him again and things will be like they were before and he runs back to his room and starts having a panic attack. Comfort ending: Roman realizes his mistake and calms Virgil down and hugs him and apologizes</p><p>This is set in the same wing AU as <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23653516">Fear of Flight</a>! It should make sense on its own though.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Magnificent!” Roman declared, bouncing on his heels as he waved the paper he was holding in the air. “This adolescent creation is the seed which shall blossom into the fruit of my next great work, I know it!”</p><p>Virgil rolled his eyes, wings fluffing at the shoulders at the enthusiasm of Roman's praise.</p><p>“Yeah, I guess it's not the worst idea we ever had,” he admitted reluctantly. “But I still think you could have found it just fine without my help, Princey.”</p><p>Roman shrugged expansively, his smile never faltering. It was true that he probably could have managed fine on his own, but he was still trying hard to make the newest member of their little 'flock' feel welcome. He had been forced to reconsider a great deal about their relationship after Virgil's crash a few months earlier, and while they had come to a fragile understanding, it was still easier to spend time together with work as an excuse.</p><p>And thus: The Memory Archives.</p><p>“Isn't the view grand from up here?” Roman asked, changing the subject. He gestured out one of the broad windows to the scenic vista that stretched out below them. Thomas's Memory Archives took the form of an enormous marble tower that reached up into the clouds, growing taller every day, with the newest memories stored closest to the ground. Having come back as far as Thomas's angst-ridden teenage years, they were now about fifty stories high, and the world below was so distant that it seemed no larger than a child's toy.</p><p>“Yeah,” Virgil sighed, his expression turning wistful. “… I haven't been up here much before.”</p><p>Roman tried not to wince at that. The Memory Archive had stairs, of course, but access was far easier when you could simply fly to the level you needed.</p><p>But after a moment, he rallied.</p><p>“Then you will never have encountered my favourite part! Come, come!”</p><p>Roman led his dark-plumed companion quickly through the towering shelves of memories, across to the other side of the tower. Here, the window looked out onto a much harsher landscape: the Brain Storm, a swirling tempest of quick winds and flashing lightning that sparked each time Thomas's mind generated a new idea.</p><p>“Woah,” Virgil said softly, his wings flaring out a little in surprise. Then – “Wait, what are you doing?”</p><p>“Opening the window, of course!” Roman grinned. “We won't be able to get out, otherwise.”</p><p>“You want us to <em>fly</em> through that?” Virgil stepped sharply backwards, retreating into the shelves. “We'd get fried!”</p><p>“We'd heal!”</p><p>“That is <em>not</em> a good enough reason, Princey!”</p><p>Roman huffed. Couldn't Virgil see that Roman was trying to bring him upon an adventure?</p><p>“It's not as bad as it looks,” he insisted. “I've done it before, many times. It's exhilarating! I'm sure if you try it –”</p><p>“Nuh-uh, no way, it's too dangerous –”</p><p>“Oh, of course you'd say that, <em>Anxiety</em>,” Roman snapped. “Don't you ever get tired of shooting down other people's ideas?”</p><p>“Don't <em>you</em> ever get tired of making stupid suggestions?”</p><p>Virgil stepped forward suddenly, his wings snapping out as his voice took on the low growl of his power. The wind buffeting through the window ruffled his dark feathers menacingly, the very picture of a villain.</p><p>Roman put his hands on his hips.</p><p>“All I'm saying is that if took that stick out your butt and tried something new –”</p><p>“I'm not going to change,” Virgil snarled. “This is who I am. So what are <em>you</em> –” he prodded his finger into Roman's chest, painfully hard – “going to do about it?”</p><p>Roman was starting to feel as though his conversation had gotten away from him somewhere.</p><p>“I'm trying to open your eyes to the wider world!” he protested, folding his wings up to try and look less threatening. “If you would just make an effort –”</p><p>Virgil reacted as though struck, stepping back sharply as his wings folded in front of him like a shield.</p><p>“I'm never going to be good enough for you, am I?” he asked.</p><p>But before Roman could say anything, he sank out, vanishing from view.</p><p>…</p><p>Well. That could have gone better.</p><p>#</p><p>Roman returned to his room, fuming at Virgil's touchiness and refusal to listen. He vented his spleen effusively to an imagined audience, outlining every grievance he had ever held against the former dark side. Then, after his anger had cooled, he spent a while lamenting his own foolishness and ruing the mistakes he had made in his approach to the situation.</p><p>His feelings thus excised, Roman reflected upon everything that had happened. Ultimately, he could not say he was proud of his actions. He had acted in a less-than-gentlemanly fashion, and while he wasn't solely to blame, he nevertheless intended to make amends.</p><p>With a groan and one last check of his hair in the mirror, he sought his way to Virgil's door.</p><p>“Virgil!” he trilled. Wait, too cheerful, given the circumstances. “I – ah – may I be permitted entrance? I feel we should discuss matters… I will endeavour to behave more civilly this time.”</p><p>There was no answer. Roman frowned.</p><p>“Are you in there?”</p><p>This time, a muffled noise, almost like a choked-off sob. Roman's pulse quickened.</p><p>“Virgil? Unless you tell me to refrain, I intend to enter now!”</p><p>A beat. Then another. Still no sound.</p><p>“I'm coming in.”</p><p>Roman burst through the door. For a moment, he thought the room was empty – then a patch of shadows moved, and he realised that what he had taken for a rumpled blanket tossed from the bed was in fact Virgil, hunched in a ball, his wings curled around himself so tight that not an inch of his face was visible.</p><p>“Virgil!”</p><p>Roman rushed forwards, but the sudden trembling of Virgil's wings suggested that this was not the wisest course of action. He stopped in his tracks, uncertain how to proceed.</p><p>“Virgil, I – are you alright? Are you injured?”</p><p>The heap of wings twitched. Then, the outermost one withdrew just enough to reveal Virgil's face – or rather, his eyes, since his hands were clasped tight over his mouth.</p><p>“Go away,” he snarled, glaring at Roman. But the effect was rather undercut by how bloodshot his eyes were, the way his eyeshadow had smeared down his cheeks, the way his whole body, wings included, heaved up and down with the weight of his breaths.</p><p>He was panicking.</p><p>Roman hesitated. He didn't like to ignore such a direct request – but leaving someone alone and afraid went against everything he stood for.</p><p>“This is a, um, whatsit – attack, isn't it?” Roman said. “Can you – you know, do that breathing trick you do?”</p><p>Virgil gave him a flat look.</p><p>“Yes, tell me to pay closer attention later, we're focussed on <em>you</em> right now, Sir Spook-a-lot.”</p><p>Hesitantly, Virgil sucked in a couple of slow, deep breaths. Gradually, inch by inch, his hands pulled away from his face, his wings parting just enough to let him be seen.</p><p>Roman knelt in front of him, in view but not close enough to touch, his own wings folded tightly behind his back as he tried to look as non-threatening as possible. He held out his hands, palm up – was he imagining that Virgil had relaxed another inch, to see he was unarmed?</p><p>“I don't know what exactly caused this but uh, given the timing, I suspect it was – at least partially – the fault of my unprincely behaviour towards you earlier. I was coming here in order to make an apology… although I admit, I did not expect my words to have affected you so strongly. Was there… something else?”</p><p>Virgil looked at him for a moment. Then he sighed, and shrugged. He didn't speak.</p><p>“Kind of?” Roman asked. “So – hmm. Did my words remind you of something else? Or something that's been on your mind?”</p><p>A small nod.</p><p>Roman wracked his memories, trying to pinpoint what he had said – but honestly, he could hardly recall. He and Virgil had argued so many times, it was simply what they did! Nothing had struck him as crossing a boundary at the time, although clearly he had somehow.</p><p>He shook his head. “I'm sorry, but I can't recall. Give me some help here?”</p><p>“Anxiety,” Virgil said, the low rumble of his voice only barely audible. “You called me Anxiety.”</p><p>Roman frowned.</p><p>“Yes?” he asked. “That's your name?”</p><p>“My name is <em>Virgil</em>,” he snapped, his breathing quickening again for a minute. Then: “You haven't called me Anxiety since… before.”</p><p>Oh.</p><p>“My sincerest apologies,” Roman said immediately. “I had no idea that it was so upsetting for you. I will of course, desist immediately henceforth –”</p><p>“It's not about the name!” Virgil huffed.</p><p>Nope, Roman was lost again.</p><p>He bit his lip.</p><p>“Perhaps I should fetch one of the others?”</p><p>Patton was far better at dealing with this sort of emotional crisis, and Logan could do one of his… weird logic mind trick things that always seemed to calm Virgil down.</p><p>But at those words, Virgil seemed to sink, his wings drooping to the ground.</p><p>“Sure,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “You can go…”</p><p>“Nope, nuh-uh, I just decided I'm staying right here.” Roman sat down properly, folding his legs in front of him. “I shall not leave your side until we have identified what ails you, and vanquished it posthaste!”</p><p>That drew a small smirk from Virgil, and Roman felt confident he had made the right choice.</p><p>“However,” he added after a moment, “I <em>am</em> going to require some further explanation.”</p><p>Virgil immediately tensed up again. He tried to hide it, but he wasn't practised masking the unconscious movements of his wings, and the way they drew up around him, feathers fluffed out in all directions, made his discomfort clear. He drummed his fingers on his knees.</p><p>“It's – so. Uh.” Virgil bit his lip. “When you called me Anxiety, in a <em>bad</em> way… I got worried that things were going to go back to how they were before.”</p><p>Roman's heart sank. As he had feared, this all led back to his disgraceful past. But how could he begrudge Virgil a grudge, when Roman had snubbed him for so long?</p><p>“They won't,” Roman promised immediately. “Things are different now.”</p><p>To his surprise, Virgil scowled.</p><p>“Yeah,” he muttered. “I've '<em>changed</em>'.”</p><p>“… What?”</p><p>Virgil's eyes flashed up, locking onto Roman.</p><p>“You only want me around when I'm trying to be a light side! You keep trying to make me like you, turn me into someone who's fun and adventurous and who won't argue with you, but that's not who I am! I have to keep doing my job, and that means sometimes I'm going to get in your way, and right now it feels like the moment I do –”</p><p>He broke off, breathing heavily. Roman was silent, quite taken aback by the sudden outburst.</p><p>“… Well, I don't know what will happen,” Virgil said slowly. “But I know that this can't last forever. Sooner or later I'm going to mess up, and I can't <em>stand</em> that it's hanging over me all the time.”</p><p>“It's not,” Roman said softly, without even really intending to. “Virgil, please believe me –” He leant forwards, holding out his hands in entreaty – “I never intended to make you feel that way. Your place among us is not conditional on how you behave, and I would <em>never</em> ask you to betray your function for Thomas.”</p><p>Virgil frowned at him.</p><p>“Then why were you going on at me about flying through the Brain Storm?” he asked. “And before that – what about when you made me re-enact that adventure daydream with you on the palace roof? Or when we took a detour on the way to meet Logan and wound up getting chased by hungry baby dragons?”</p><p>Roman sighed.</p><p>“I know we don't know each other well. I wanted to have a few adventures with you! Times we could look back on fondly someday! I was never trying to change you – I wanted to demonstrate to you that <em>I</em> have changed. That I will no longer leave you out of the fun.”</p><p>Virgil gave him a flat look.</p><p>“Dude, your idea of fun is so messed up.”</p><p>“I perhaps should have been considerate of your preferences,” Roman admitted. “But I got caught up in the moment! And…”</p><p>“And?”</p><p>Roman looked at the ground. “I always took our spirited discussions for nothing more than some light-hearted banter between… colleagues. Apparently my demeanour has been more hostile than I perceived. I will truly devote myself to avoiding any recurrence –”</p><p>“Don't.” Virgil cut him off. He ran a hand through his hair before saying: “I can't believe I'm saying this, but the idea of <em>not</em> bickering with you is just freaky. You're right, it's normally just fun. Right?”</p><p>Roman nodded encouragingly, and Virgil's cheeks turned a little pink.</p><p>“So, uh. I'll try and make it clearer next time if something sets me off. But otherwise… yeah, the arguing and the nicknames and that stuff is fine. It's… kinda like something friends would do.”</p><p>Roman's grin felt like it would split his face in two.</p><p>“Ugh, shut <em>up</em> Princey.” Virgil buried his head in his arms, although this time there was no tension in his wings or shoulders. “This is why I hate talking about feelings.”</p><p>“But is it a conversation one might have with a <em>friend</em>?” Roman teased.</p><p>Virgil groaned loudly and batted lightly at Roman with his wing. Then he sat up again, and began getting to his feet. Roman quickly leapt up and offered him a hand.</p><p>Virgil glanced in the mirror, pulling a horrified face.</p><p>“Ugh. I feel like –”</p><p>“Mould, it's prom night and you are lonely?” Roman interrupted. “Fear not, Preen-age Dirtbag! You fix your make-up, and I'll get those feathers straightened out for you.”</p><p>“You really don't have to…” Virgil began.</p><p>“Nonsense!” Roman insisted, running a hand lightly over his wing.</p><p>“What are almost-friends for?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Come hang out on my Discord! <a href="https://discord.gg/ZZ6am2c">https://discord.gg/ZZ6am2c</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>